A Warm Welcome and Introduction

I’ve been avoiding the start of this very first blog for quite some time, not because I am at a loss for words (that happens rarely), but because I wanted to choose the very best words to catch your attention and to inspire you as well as introduce you to who I am. That’s a tricky combo!

I have heard it said that I should have a picture of who I am writing to framed and put on my desk so I stay focused on my audience. But in reality, I remember faces of hundreds of people who I have crossed paths with in 20-plus years of my career in Gerontology and in my own family that have inspired me to be at this very point of starting this small business, this project, this ministry. I suspect I would need a whole billboard!

I do have specific clients/residents/members/participants/parents/siblings/pearls in my mind as I type. That list of terms alone could give clues to the types of places I have served, from my home life, to memory care communities, to adult day care communities, to case management–implying that the world of memory care is vast and diverse. So I find the exciting task of starting a small business a bit daunting! Perhaps it is a bit, as Desmond Tutu once referred to, like trying to eat an elephant. Where does one start? Bit by bit.

I recently read Joanna Gaines’ book The Stories We Tell, and I loved the moment she realized she'd fallen in love with her freedom during a time when fear threatened her freedom. She writes, “When I chose to believe in my inherent worth. And in this case, when I had people around who believed in it too. When I was willing to be vulnerable about how wildly I could fail. When I was willing to say, ‘I don’t know what I’m doing, this won’t be perfect, but I’m going to give it all I’ve got’” (Gaines, p. 35). I found myself squealing, “Amen! She gets me!” She continues on, sharing about times when she doesn’t feel worthy of showing up:

“Yet every time I do, and I stand in truth – my heart and arms open wide – I’m reminded that I was made to feel more than just afraid. I can also be brave. And, more often than not, the two go hand in hand. I think most of us are far more capable of this – feeling more than one way at once. I think we can be tender and ambitious. Sensitive and strong. Shy and vocal. Fearful and courageous. That has been my experience with vulnerability. It lets us feel one, then shows us how to become the other.” (Gaines, p. 41)

And so here I am, in the same way, holding down fear to bravely start a new thing, something that has been a passion of mine for years slowly unfolding over time and now launching out into the world. This work has been inspired by taking all the favorite parts of my previous work experience and creating a new project. There have been moments when I have hung up the phone, gotten in my car and driven home from work, or returned to my office filled with gumption, joy, energy, fulfillment and sentiments of “I loved that!” Other times I have been filled with sadness, exhaustion, or bewilderment. It was in these challenging moments that I had great self-awareness or reflections from others I trusted showing me my particular skill set is a gift or a talent, not something to be neglected or taken for granted. Let’s just say that while for many, it is uncomfortable to sit with sadness, grief and loss, I find it meaningful, valuable, important, and rewarding. And so, with courage, I am excited to start this small business offering individual consulting services, support group facilitation services for both adult children and spouses, and dementia education for both frontline staff and informal or family caregivers.

Ever since my very first full time employment at an adult day care center in Skokie, IL, I knew the population I loved working with most was seniors, and the obvious second group I loved working with was the people who loved those seniors so well, their family members. Later in my career, I felt confident and experienced enough to try my hand at education and orientation of memory care staff at two top-shelf world-class memory care communities, and I loved it! In the adult day care and in those same two memory care communities, I was given the opportunity to facilitate support groups and quickly learned the value of creating a space where caregivers did not feel alone and could find kindred spirits in the weeds and complexities of caregiving. What a beautiful space support groups are to find respite, reprieve, and regeneration, even if only for one hour.

I hope that in the next blogs to come and in the years to come, the world of dementia care becomes easier and lighter because I was a part of it in this corner of the world. I hope that my ambition despite my tenderness, my courage despite my fear, and my strength despite my sensitivity, reach those in the thick of caregiving and lift you up a bit. I hope I can help you navigate the complexities of care when needed, and I really want to know that days felt better and brighter because of what I shared.

Welcome to my site. Welcome to my blog. It’s so nice to have you here.