Navigating the Swamp of Caregiving: Part Four: Look Up, Child!
Blog #6
For those asking me how I came up with the name Dragonfly Senior Navigation Services, you may know that there are two responses to that question. The first response is found on the website under the “Why Dragonfly?” tab, but here you will find the second reason for the name!
It is no doubt risky to catch the attention of readers by using fairly negative words like “swamp” and “weeds.” Here is the counterbalance to my risky choice of words, the challenge to look up! Look for beauty! Look for good!
The long Wikihow list of tips for navigating a swamp recommends that you occasionally stop and look up. Take in the sights, sounds, smells of what is around you. You may notice beautiful wildflowers, a sunset, brilliant bird songs, and smells of grass and fresh air. You may even notice the beauty of silence in the thick of things. Inevitably you will notice colorful dragonflies buzzing about, each one very different from the others in size and color, glimmering in the sunshine. For when you are somewhere as thick and murky as a swamp, even then it is possible to find something to look up at and admire, show gratitude for, and experience awe in. Not all is lost and hopeless. In the words of Leonard Cohen, “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”
Dementia care is hard and tiring and can exhaust you. It can feel lonely and isolating as your friends and family don’t really understand what you are going through, even though they mean well. It is an act of discipline to look for the good in dementia care, but the moments are there and they are to be savored.
They are the moments when your loved one looks at you and tells you they love you. There are the moments when you just sit and hold hands like you have for years.There are moments when you join in a song together, get lost in the moment, and things feel normal for a few minutes. It’s in the long hug, or in the unexpected laughter, or a successful activity, or a nice long walk in nature. It takes a special set of lenses to look for and see the moments of good, but they are there. Savor them. Write them down so they can be remembered…by you.
Christian singer/songwriter Lauren Daigle sings a song titled “Look Up, Child.” Here are a few of the lyrics that feel fitting:
Where are You now
When darkness seems to win?
Where are You now
When the world is crumbling?
Oh I, I-I-I, I hear You say
I hear You say
"Look up child", hey
"Look up child", hey
Where are You now (Where are You?)
When all I feel is doubt?
Oh, where are You now
When I can't figure it out?
Oh I, I-I-I, I hear You say
I hear You say
"Look up child", hey
"Look up child", hey
"Look up child", hey
"Look up child", hey
"Look up..."
You're not threatened by the war
You're not shaken by the storm
I know You're in control
Even in our suffering
Even when it can't be seen
I know You're in control