Navigating the Swamp of Caregiving: Part One: Walk Slowly and Carry a Big Stick
Blog #3
As I explained in the introduction to this “Navigating the Swamp of Caregiving” series, a Wikihow website lists eight really good pointers on how to walk through a swamp–eight pointers that land up being great analogies for navigating dementia care. The first insight is to (paraphrased) walk slowly and carry a big stick. It’s an attempt to be a bit light-hearted, but there is some profound truth in jest.
The reality is that you do want to approach carefully and walk slowly through this journey. There is some truth to the old phrase “haste makes waste.” Before a diagnosis of dementia is made, there may be other concerns that need to be ruled out, so it’s important not to jump to any conclusions. Often what looks like memory loss or confusion is not dementia but something that is treatable and short-term. It is important to seek medical and professional help if you are not sure about a change in memory or behaviors.
If a dementia diagnosis is made, each diagnosis has different characteristics. “Take very slow steps so you can stay steady while navigating your swamp walk. If you start to feel wobbly, slow down your pace” (https://www.wikihow.com/Walk-in-a-Swamp). I like the use of the word “wobbly.” Hearing a new, big, scary diagnosis can make a person feel wobbly. In the same way, we need to slow down, take some deep breaths, and tackle one thing at a time, not jumping to conclusions or looking to unreliable resources. This is not the time to listen to friends, neighbors, or the internet. This is also not the time to compare your experience with anyone else's story. Stay focused on your particular path.
This is where the big stick comes in. The Wikihow blog says that you should carry a big stick to test the depth of the swamp you are in. You will want to find safe footings so you don’t fall or stumble. In the same way, it is important to talk to reliable, knowledgeable, educated, and trustworthy voices about what dementia is and how to care for someone with a diagnosis. Unfortunately, there is a lot of wrong information floating around that can make you fearful and unnecessarily or prematurely scared or anxious. Test your resources, and make sure you know they are reliable and firm places to stand before taking next steps in dementia care. Poke around and see if things are sure, reliable, and trustworthy. Take steps forward only when you know you are stepping on solid facts.